Month: November 2013

Staying on Track…

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The leaves have lost their attractiveness and their opportunities for great photo ops..Now they are just dry, crunchy and all over the place…in the street, my lawn, and anyplace where the blustery wind will carry them today.

It is cold now when I return from my morning walk and I am usually starving…what to eat? what to eat? I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers so I know how many “points” in a day I can have….the four point power breakfast of steel-cut oatmeal with blueberries….or

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the “classic” Drake’s coffee cakes for eight points? Of course, the coffee cakes are calling my name, along with a steaming cup of Lyon’s tea…did I really just walk five miles to come home and blow it in five minutes? Most days, I can say no….and put them back with my husband’s stash of Mallomars and Chips Ahoy. Then there are the other days when temptation and sweets are calling my name….there is something comforting in the winter about wrapping your hand around a cup of tea and – let’s be honest – really anything from Drake’s or Entennman’s! An apple – even a Honey Crisp – doesn’t quite do it.

So, I turn off the kitchen light’s, head upstairs away from temptation and distract myself with a book or a magazine…Knowing that the next time I pull something out of the closet it will fit!

Little Voice

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I didn’t realize how much our work/career identifies us to everyone else until I lost my job a few years ago. It’s natural that when you meet someone for the first time one of the first things you are asked is “What do you do?” It’s a way to potentially find common ground or to open up a whole new discussion. I was really torn the first time someone asked me after I was laid off. At first, I joked around…said I was part of the wave of people laid off due to the recession and yes, I voted for Obama. This was my way of letting people know I was okay and that I fully expected to be gainfully employed again soon.

Fast forward two years. Unemployment insurance has run out and now it’s not so funny. Joined the “405 club” online – a site dedicated to out-of-work New Yorkers…the “405” reflecting the amount of our unemployment check. Good morale booster but nothing concrete comes out of that.

Four years. Yikes. Yes, voted for Obama again. Essentially have given up having a career again and now it’s me, my morning walks to keep me relatively sane and filling my days with friends, reading, and yes…being a homemaker. There it is…a reviled word that as a woman of a “certain age” never thought they would call themselves. We were going to have it all…as the 1970’s commercial jingle said “She can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan”.

Have the pan but not the bacon. And each day it becomes easier to come to terms with it. As I have said in previous blogs, I don’t miss the stress of working; I miss the identity it gave me. When I see my friends advancing in their careers, while very happy for them, I get that certain tug of “what if I hadn’t lost my job? Where would I be now?” 

Little Voice. Having a career legitimizes your value to society and without one, a feeling of disenfranchisement can overpower you. I fight that feeling by keeping current with news, politics and popular culture so I can join in on the conversation.  

Not having a career does not have to identify you. Really.

Thank you Mark Zuckerberg!

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I am a statistic. “Chronically Unemployed” – I have been out of work for over four years and have given up looking for a “real” job…I would be happy finding something that I can do from home..my commuting days are over. I have looked at “work from home” job posts but you have to really filter through them to make sure they are legitimate. I like being around people and have thought about going into retail again…but even that has changed so much since I did it. I am appalled when I go into a store and the customers can’t get off their cell phones for a moment to look at the cashier or sales person and engage in a conversation. I am shocked at how rude people can be and at this stage of the game, frankly don’t want to be part of it.

I will somehow try to reinvent myself once again. What I have done in my 50+ years?…high school = supermarket cashier/college = support staff at a college club/Newly minted BA = cruise line sales staff/hotel sales manager/then part-time cosmetic salesperson when my kids were young/then, in an odd twist (long story, another days blog) a College Administrator/then back for my Masters degree and finally Community Relations Manager for a bookstore.

My unexpected sabbatical at home is not without its merits. I have gladly shrugged off the stresses of working for a big corporation and am enjoying the freedom of designing my own day – each and every day. I do wish I had all this time off when my children were younger and I was taking care of my elderly parents AND working full-time.

So today I say thank you Facebook! I know I am on-line way too much – but I love checking what other people are doing – oh, and of course, letting friends and family know what is going on in my little world. I know Facebook has been slammed for creating a narcissistic culture where we feel compelled to let the world know what we had for breakfast or who we ran into at the store – but my take is that it opens the world to people – your own world and the world around you. I enjoy the links that my “friends” …all 186 of them – who knew? – post. I love the fact that I have reconnected with cousins in England to share pictures with and family stories. Even thinking about what to write in your status update can be thought-provoking. When there is nothing to post, that can be a downer…after all, I must have done something today!

Rambling again…

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It’s been about two years since I last updated my blog. Why did I stop? Not quite sure…looking back now on my posts, they were very full of my frustration at being unemployed after a lifetime of working. So what’s new? I am still unemployed, still walking every day (another favorite theme), and certainly still rambling –  but my attitude has shifted to one of acceptance of my new life and embracing this new reality. It it life on my own terms. Thankfully, unlike many people who would laid off at the start of the recession, I am financially secure – thanks to my husbands steady paycheck and downsizing here and there. No more weekly dry cleaning bills and shopping excursions for “work” clothes – my wardrobe now consists of sneakers, yoga pants and jeans…all tossed in the washing machine.

So my days are my own…walking, reading, listening to NPR and of course, Kathie Lee and Hoda! There is a peacefulness to my days that I cherish and I truly appreciate the fact that I can stay home and not be forced into taking a minimum wage job to get by (a shout out to New Jersey for raising the minimum wage:

:http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2013/11/nj_voters_approve_constitutional_amendment_raising_minimum_wage.html

So, hope this is the first of many new posts…I hope you welcome me back to the blogosphere!